Tangled Webs
by Bluebell
Summary: Each part of the story is from a different charcter's POV, except the last two......
1. Harry's POV

Tangled Webs - part 1  
  
  
Hello. This is my first fanfic, so please be kind to me... This is the first in a 5 part series, and part five all depends on your comments! Thankyou.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Why was his life such a mess? This was a question frequently asked in his muddled brain, and he wished he could just end it all. Would anybody miss him at all? His best friend hadn't talked to him for a month, all because of one night of stupidness on his part. How could he have done this to him? Harry had never set out to hurt Ron, ever. How was he to have known that Ron would react in such a bad way? If he had never suggested that they had gone on the midnight stroll… it would never have happened at all. Harry wouldn't have been tempted to ask Ron if he loved him. Or have pinned him up against that tree beforehand. Or kissed him with such tenderness. It was all such a big mess.  
  
The next day, Harry set off towards the great hall as early as possible without drawing attention to himself. Attention was the last thing he wanted, but Harry being who he was, he always got it, whether he wanted it or not. Sitting himself down at the Gryffindor table, he began to eat, ignoring the whispers all around him Not even members of his own house had stood by him when Draco Malfoy had put it about the school that he was gay. At least he knew who his true friends were now, but it broke his heart to find that Ron wasn't one of them. Maybe he would have been if Harry hadn't kissed him. Harry could remember the look of hurt and anger on his face as he had pulled away from him in the moonlight, and then the blow he received across his face… and then Ron running, fast, in the opposite direction. He wondered that if he tried to drown himself in the lake, the giant squid would eat him afterwards. It would be good if it did, he supposed.   
  
Two people fell into seats either side of Harry. It was Fred and George. They had remained friends, and there had been many a time when he had cried into their shoulders over the last month.  
"Hey Harry." Fred said, ladling himself some porridge.  
"Hey." Harry replied quietly.  
He really didn't feel like talking now. Swallowing the last of his scrambled egg, he got up to leave, but George said, "Don't go, we wanted to talk to you."  
Harry fell back down again, looking glum.  
"Its about Ron. We talked to him last night." Fred said, leaning over to Harry.  
He said nothing, and George continued, "He's more hurt than angry."  
"He said that he couldn't understand why you'd done it and that you thought he would just go along with it. I can see his point, but if he just talked to you then you could just work it out…" Fred said sadly.  
Harry stared at the tablecloth, fighting the urge to cry. He wished that Ron would come and talk to him –life was lonely when you only had Hermione to talk to. Very lonely. Sighing, he eventually said, "Well, he's not going to talk to me so it's not worth the bother. I'll see you later." With that, he left the hall.  
  
Walking around the lake, he seriously considered taking a running jump into it. He was only sixteen years old. This was not how he wanted to spend his teenage years –all alone with basically no friends at all. He had enough to contend with, with Voldemort and all, but his was just too much. It had been a few days after his fifthteenth birthday that he had realised that he was gay. He hadn't told anyone. It wasn't until that night a few weeks ago when he had dared to let his emotions flow free that Draco had seen him kiss Ron in the forest, then by the next day, it had been all over the school. Everything in his life was bad –his schoolmarks were slipping, he had lost his last Quidditch match against Hufflepuff and of course, Ron. Ron, Ron, Ron. He was the only thing that Harry ever thought about. If only he would just talk to him! His life wasn't worth living, and right then, he decided to do something about it. Taking a quick glance around, he walked right to the edge of the water, and waded into it. Taking one last withering look up at the castle, he dived into the icy water, and swam deeper into it, making sure he had no breath at all.  
  
******************************************  
  
Harry could see the blackness everywhere he looked. Was this dying? He hoped so, because it was pretty painless. Silence pounded In his ears, not a sound could be heard.  
He was being held by someone. Then, as though someone had turned the volume back up, he heard, "He's barely alive! Somebody get a teacher!" He knew that voice… who was it? He had no time to ponder that though, as he felt himself being dragged down into the clutches of unconsciousness. 


	2. Ron's POV

tangled webs - part 2  
  
  
Hello. This is the second in a 5 part series, and part five all depends on your comments! Thankyou.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ron walked along the corridor, turning over everything in his brain. He couldn't bear the thought of never talking to Harry again, but could he make himself, after what had happened? It wouldn't be the same. Even if they did talk, Ron didn't know if he could control himself. Why had he acted like that? Why had he punched Harry in the jaw and run away like a scared child? Why? It wasn't as though he didn't love Harry –quite the opposite, but he had had no idea that Harry felt the same way about him… it had scared him. Was he ready for a relationship? His first? Would he be good enough? He doubted this very much. As he was lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice someone approaching from the other direction. He walked smack into them and they clattered to the floor.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Ron said, holding out a hand to help up the person.  
  
He still hadn't seen who it was –if he had, he wouldn't have helped them at all. Draco Malfoy was getting to his feet, looking angry.  
"Watch where you're going." He snarled at Ron, who was standing tall next to him.  
"I said I was sorry, didn't I?" Ron hissed, his face reddening.  
Draco made a movement that made Ron think that he was going to punch him, but instead, the hand rested itself on his shoulder. Ron looked at it then at Malfoy.  
"You want to get yourself down to the lake, Weasley." He said sadly, not at all In his usual tone.  
"Why's that?" Ron asked, stepping back into the wall.  
"Because they've just pulled Potter out of it." Was the short reply.  
Draco strode away with a smirk on his face, whilst Ron stood there in shock.  
What was going on? Had Harry…? It was too painful to even think about him doing that… But what if he had? Ron quickly ran down to the entrance hall, where Seamus and Dean stood, looking anxious.  
"What's going….?" Ron started, but he trailed off as Dumbledore swept through the large wooden doors, a sopping Harry in his arms.   
Ron clamped his hands over his mouth, and he had started shaking violently. He had tried to kill himself… was it because of him? Ron couldn't bear it if he had done. He followed at a distance, frightened that somebody would say something to him. But, he was left to his own devices as they all moved towards the hospital wing. Hermione wasn't there, so no-body talked to him. Seamus and Dean were walking in silence, and Ron couldn't help but sniff a bit. He felt deeply for Harry, but he didn't dare tell anybody because he knew how they'd react. As he went to walk into the hospital wing, he found the door being shut in his face by McGonagall. He swallowed and held back the hot tears that were trying to show themselves. Seamus laid a hand on his shoulder, but he shook it off and ran down the corridor.  
  
He only stopped when he was nearly at the entrance hall, and he leant against the cold stone wall to catch his breath. He had been going to talk to Harry, he had been. Just waiting for the right moment… only, now, he was too late. Would they be able to save Harry? Please God, he thought, raking a hand through his hair. The passage was dark, and an icy draught whipped around him. Suddenly, a voice called him, "Ron?"  
Ron spun and looked down the corridor to see Draco there. What the hell did he want? Ron really didn't want to have to deal with him now. He quickly wiped his eyes and said, "What do you want, Malfoy?"  
Er -, I just wanted to…. Hey, what's wrong?"  
Ron had fallen to his knees on the floor, tears pouring down his face. He should be the one lying in that hospital bed, for he was lowest anyone could get. It should have been him found floating in the school lake –inches from death. Draco was now kneeling next to him, trying to hide his worry.  
"Don't touch me!" Ron said through shaking lips, "Just leave me alone."  
Draco didn't remove his arm from around Ron's shoulders.  
"This is all your fault!" Ron cried savagely, "Everything! If you hadn't've told the whole school he never would have done it!"  
"He bloody would have, Weasley. Don't try to pass the blame off onto me! You're the reason he's up there, fighting for his life, all because you couldn't admit your feelings for him!"  
"Don't tell me what I feel, Malfoy, or I'll smack you from this end of the corridor to the other!" Ron yelled at him, and wrenched his body from his grasp.  
Draco's face contorted with anger and he grabbed Ron's shoulders and pinned him against the wall. Ron's breathing was harsh and his face was wet. Draco had an amazingly firm grip and Ron winced inwardly at the pain.  
"Don't yell at me, Weasley. You're in no place to. Plus there's the fact that I'm so much better than you… you should look up to me." Draco said, his voice barely above a whisper.  
"I would never-" Ron started, but he was cut off by Draco smothering his lips with his.  
His hands found Draco's chest and tried to push him away, but he just couldn't. The kiss was becoming more passionate every second, and Ron felt the heat rise in his body.  
"You're mine, Weasley." Draco breathed in his ear, then he ran his tongue over Ron's earlobe, making him squirm.  
"Come on," Draco hissed, taking his arms in a firm grip, "We're going outside."  
Ron couldn't do anything –his arms felt as thought they would break and then there was the fact that, even though he didn't want to admit it, he maybe even liked what Draco was doing to him… As his body was pushed towards the wooden doors, he wondered if Harry would care about this…. Did he hate Ron that much as to not care if he lost his virginity to Draco Malfoy? He had no time to ponder this matter as Draco had now taken him outside and was leading him towards the forest. When they had reached the safety of the thick trees, Draco released his arms and leant against a tree.  
"Why aren't you holding me anymore?" Ron asked timidly, rubbing his arms.  
"You're not as stupid as to run off, are you? Come off it, we both know that you want this, maybe even more than I do…"  
"What? You want me?" Ron said, feeling a sort of explosion take place in the pit of his stomach.  
Draco laughed hollowly, and said, "Yeah, if you want to put it like that… I don't even know why. I mean, you're hardly the most attractive person in the world, are you? Your hair clashes terribly with your cheeks, and, well, you have no dress sense whatsoever…"  
"Shut up." Ron said, wondering why he was still standing there.  
Draco lost his smirk and walked over, then put his arms around Ron's neck. He surveyed the boy in front of him lovingly, and gently kissed the soft lips he found. Ron spread his long fingers across Draco's back and kissed him back, desperately.  
"So…. What am I going to do with you?" Draco said, twiddling some fiery red hair between his fingers.  
  
Both knew what the answer was –but could they bring themselves to actually do it? As they kissed again, they fell sideways and landed on the muddy floor. Draco couldn't believe his luck as Ron fumbled with the fastenings on his robes, and he began to do the same. Sighing, he grinned, and let Ron kiss and caress him…. 


	3. Draco's POV

Tangled webs - part 3  
  
Hello. This is the third in a 5 part series, and part five all depends on your comments! Thankyou.p  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Draco gasped for breath as he lay on the forest floor, his sweat mingling with Ron's as he lay on top of him. They had done it… and both were extremely tired. Draco groaned as Ron stroked his chest gently, and he turned and draped his arms around him. Draco saw that Ron's eyes were half glazed over with lust.. did he look like that too? He hoped not, because he actually felt for Ron, even if his feelings weren't mutual. Ron looked even more beautiful when he was naked, and Draco just wanted to hold him for all eternity.  
"We'd better get back to the castle…" Ron whispered, but Draco shook his head.  
"No. Let me hold you… God knows when we'll get to be together again…" he said, holding Ron firmly.  
He couldn't say much to that, and so he just pulled his discarded robes over them and settled back, waiting for Draco to speak. However, he found himself longing to say something that had been playing on his mind since Draco had first taken hold of him in the corridor. In the end, when Draco said nothing, he did.  
  
"Draco… I need to talk to you… it's going to sound really stupid-"  
"Nothing you could say would sound stupid to me, Ron, because I think I… I think I love you…" he interrupted.  
Ron fell silent, shocked at the very prospect. Draco, the boy he had loathed for so many years, wanted to push off the top of a very tall building –was in love with him! But, so was Harry! This was getting more complicated by the minute… Draco surveyed him, and saw the look in his eyes.  
"You don't love me though, do you?" he continued miserably. "You're in love with Harry, any fool can see it."  
"Yeah, I love Harry… but I think that…."  
"What?" Draco asked, his heart banging In his chest.  
"That when you get past the hard exterior of Draco Malfoy, you find a sweet, emotional lad, whom I could really get to like… But yeah, I do love Harry. I admit it. I've loved him ever since I first met him on the bloody train, when he sat there and told me everything he was worried about." Ron said, closing his bright blue eyes, the pain coursing through his body once again.  
Draco stayed silent, but he longed to tell Ron that he was better than Harry, could give him more and deliver more than Harry could; but he knew Ron would never listen.  
"I'm going to have to think about this." He said finally, stroking Draco's white-blond hair.  
He nodded and sat up, reaching for his clothes. Ron kissed along his shoulder and said, "You don't have to go just yet, do you? We've got ages before dinner…"  
"I'm sorry… I can't, knowing that nothing will come of it."  
"Well, I'm hoping at least one of us will come!" Ron joked, and Draco smiled. "And who says nothing will come of it? I never said that, did I?"At this, Draco leapt back on top of him and began kissing him madly. His freckled cheeks flushed red and his body tightened on the ground where it lay.  
"This is my time. I'm going to show you what I'm made of.." Draco said, as he licked along Ron's chest.  
"Okay… just be gentle…"  
Draco chuckled devilishly, and began…  
  
That night, Draco lay on his bed, staring at the canopy above him. His mind was full of the experience he had just shared with Ron, the boy he loved… But, even though Ron had said something might come out of it, he knew that it wouldn't. As soon as Harry woke up Ron would march right up there and tell him how he felt. Would Draco be left on his own? He thought that he would, for nobody else wanted him, he was too powerful to even get looked at by the members of his own house, and everyone else was petrified of him. Sighing, he turned his thoughts to taking Ron into his bedroom back at the manor… he'd push him on the black leather bed.. then cover him with cream and chocolate sauce… his father wouldn't have a clue, and they would continue deep into the night… and deep into each other's bodies… He was jerked out of his fantasies by a knock on the dormitory door, and he cursed whoever it was as he strode across the room to answer it. Opening the door, he found no-one there.   
"Hello?" he called, looking up and down the passageway.  
"Its me!" hissed Ron's voice, "I'm wearing Harry's invisibility cloak! Let me in!"  
Draco stepped aside and he felt Ron brush pass him. Shutting the door, he turned and saw Ron standing there with an impish grin on his face.  
"I couldn't go to bed without seeing you." He explained, throwing his arms around Draco.  
He grinned and looked at Ron, in his dressing gown and pyjamas. He pointed to the bed and Ron walked to it and collapsed on the soft mattress. Draco walked over and sat next to him, drawing the hangings around them.  
"We've got ages before the others come to bed. They never come before one." He said hopefully, but Ron shook his head.  
"Nah, sorry Draco, but I'm knackered. I think we've done enough for one day." Ron said, snaking his arms around him.  
He nodded and pulled back the covers, motioning for Ron to climb inside. When they were both settled in each other's arms, Draco said, "So have you been to see Harry yet?"  
"They wouldn't let me in… Hermione told me to fuck off… I felt like crying again… she'll never understand me, I swear."  
"Calm down." Draco said, laying a finger on Ron's lips. "She doesn't know how you feel… she blames you, I guess…"  
"She should. If only I had stayed and talked to him then all this would never have happened… If I hadn't've smacked him round the face then…. Oh, this is all my fault."  
Draco silenced him with a lingering kiss. He loved the way he could do that, just with one touch of his lips…. Ron closed his eyes and after a while, he drifted off to sleep, leaving Draco to think about him. He could feel his erection building on as he was lying there. There was nothing he could do to stop it… sighing, he reached into his pyjama bottoms and began to stroke gently. He had done this so many times before… and he thought that he would have to do it for the rest of his school years. If only he had known that he would be lying next to Ron a few weeks ago, then all the heartache he had been suffering wouldn't have been necessary. His heart had always been deprived of love… his parents had never really loved him, and he had spent much of his childhood alone. He had never seen his older brother much, because he was in disgrace… he had been the only member of the Malfoy family to be in Gryffindor house, and his parents sent him away to a boarding school in Switzerland at the age of fifteen. His name was Alexander, and Draco missed him a lot. He had never been able to talk to him, tell him how he felt about the absence of him and his parents love… sighing, Draco turned his attention back to what he was doing. When he was just about there, he heard voices in the room. He prayed that they wouldn't come to see him…  
  
"Yeah.. that's what everyone's saying…" came Crabbe's voice.  
"That he's woken up?" Goyle's loud voice boomed around the room.  
Draco glanced at Ron, who was sleeping peacefully at his side, his chest rising and falling steadily. Should he wake him and tell him? He knew that he should, but could he make himself give him up so easily? Could he face the coldness of being alone that would surely follow Ron's departure? Yes. He knew that he had to. Sighing, he gently moved his hand to Ron's forehead and began to stroke. Then, he leant over and kissed his lips. This worked. Ron stirred and looked at him imploringly. Draco waited till the other voices in the room had faded before whispering," They just said that Harry's woken up…"  
Ron, however, didn't move. He bit his lip and then hissed back, "There's no point in me going to see him now, because Hermione will be there and won't let me in. I'll stay here with you, thanks… You don't mind, do you?"  
Draco shook his head, and smiled at the red-headed boy next to him. Ron grinned and kissed Draco tenderly, and ran his hand over his chest. He looked down and saw Draco's hard-on. Rolling his eyes, he said, "Honestly. I can't leave you alone for five seconds…"  
He reached down and began to stroke. When he had finished, Draco was gasping and trying hard not to cry out. His pyjama bottoms were soaking wet, and he couldn't exactly get out of bed and change. Sighing, he looked at Ron and whispered, "I'm not lying here like this all night. Can we use the cloak to go somewhere else? We can't talk properly here, anyway.""Yeah, I s'pose.." Ron agreed and pulled the cloak over them both.  
Draco gingerly pulled back the curtains and looked at the other beds. Faint snores could be heard from within all. He motioned for Ron to follow, and they both crept to the door. When they were safely in the corridor, Ron performed a simple spell that dried off Draco's nightwear easily. They walked out of the Slytherin common room minutes later, and found themselves right outside the potions dungeon.  
"No-one would know… Snape never goes in there at night… his office is next door, but if we don't make any noise…" Draco suggested, and Ron nodded.  
Opening the lock with his wand, Draco lit the lamps and pulled Ron inside. When the door was locked shut and the cloak had been taken off, he put his arms around Ron's neck and looked deep into his eyes. There was a yearning there –not unfamiliar to Draco, for he felt it too. But this was for Harry, whereas his was for Ron. And he had him. Why wasn't he forcing Ron to go out with him and to drop his feelings for Harry altogether? That was the sort of thing he would have normally done… What was different now? Why didn't he just push Ron back on that desk and tell him that he was now property of the great Draco Malfoy, and if he wanted to live that he would never feel for Harry Potter again in his life? Because he couldn't. He couldn't tell someone how to feel –it was just wrong. Love was turning him soft, it was official. As Ron closed his eyes, and tried to think of someone other than Harry or Draco, he let his body relax. Draco ran his fingers through Ron's fiery red hair, and he longed to be kissing him –or something else! But they couldn't, not while Snape was next door in his office. It was too risky. Draco kissed along the neck in front of him, nibbling and leaving tiny marks that would be gone by morning. Draco groaned and sniffed Ron's hair softly, taking in his wonderful scent. They stood there for about ten minutes, holding each other tightly, and only pulled apart when a noise came from outside. But it was only a few stray Slytherins who seemed to have sneaked out and gotten drunk.  
"Stupid idiots." Ron muttered, brushing his hair out of his eyes.  
"Yeah, but lets not talk about them… lets talk about you…" Draco whispered.  
"What's there to talk about? You pretty much know everything, your father being who he is…" Ron said, blushing due to the fact that someone wanted to know about him.  
"I mean your life before Hogwarts. What was your childhood like?" Draco said, sitting him down on the desk.   
"Well… there's not much to tell… but if you want to know.. When I was younger, I was really stubborn, I guess. I never wanted to wear things that were hand-me downs from my brothers, but I never really had much choice. Fred and George used to be hell –they weren't very helpful as older brothers until they reached the age of twelve. They started Hogwarts and suddenly became the wisest and cleverest people I knew closest to my own age. Bill and Charlie were my real saviours though.. they were the ones who told me about girls and er, sex…. They were my agony-brothers, if you like. When I started school, I was pretty clued up on stuff that an eleven year old should be. After then, I found things out on my own and became more in-dependant. I had my own friends, and my own life where my mother wasn't here to watch over my every move." Ron said, and while he paused for a breath, Draco asked, "How old were you when you realised you were gay?"  
"Er, I guess I was about fourteen. No-one knows –except you and Charlie… I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way, too…"  
"No worries.. Your secret's safe with me.. Anything else I should know?"  
"Nope, that's about it.. what about you?"  
"Well… I think you should know about Alexander. He's my older brother. But he's never mentioned because he was in Gryffindor when he was at school. My dad never talks about him and he's not allowed in our manor. He stood up to my dad when he started following Voldemort, and made it clear he didn't agree with what he was doing. He had recently finished his time at the boarding school in Switzerland, where he was sent after five years at this school. My dad threw him out –and I haven't seen him since I was six years old." Draco said, wondering what his father would do if he ever found out that he had told someone about Alex.  
"He threw him out because he didn't agree with him over Voldemort? Well, I wouldn't like to think about him doing that to you…"Ron said, furrowing his brow.  
"No, I'm always on my best behaviour when I'm at home –just in case."  
"What does your mother say?" Ron asked.  
"She never really cared for either of us, she only married dad for his money… When they decided to have children he really had to talk her into it. I think she was afraid of him though… otherwise she would have run off ages ago." Draco said sadly, his gaze dropping to the floor.  
Ron sighed and sat back on the desk, leaving Draco standing where he was. Ron couldn't believe that the Malfoy family had so many problems… Shaking his head, he looked at Draco, and waited for him to come over. 


	4. Mixed POVs

tangled webs - part 4  
  
Hello. This is the fourth in a 5 part series, and part five all depends on your comments! Thankyou.p  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Two weeks later, Harry was still in the hospital wing, slowly recovering. Ron hadn't yet worked up the gut to go and see him yet; to tell him how he felt. Meanwhile, his relationship with Draco was going from strength to strength. Every time they met they couldn't keep their hands off each other, and most nights ended up doing things they really weren't meant to. Hermione had not spoken one civilised word to Ron in the past weeks, she had passed all the blame off onto him. It hurt, the way she scowled every time he walked into her presence, and turned and whispered to someone else if he tried to talk to her. Fred and George were trying to support him, but weren't doing a very good job. Draco was the only one he could get any real sympathy from. But deep in Draco's heart, he wanted to tell Ron to forget about Harry and to just continue their relationship, and then they would live happily ever after. It wasn't going to happen.  
  
One day, Ron was walking along the corridor he had first met Draco in. It was sunny outside, and a light breeze swept along with him. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, he knew he must have looked really miserable and down-and-out, but he couldn't care less. As long as people left him alone, he left them alone. It was simple. When he came out on the second floor, he narrowly missed colliding with Lee Jordan, who was looking equally disgruntled.  
"Sorry.." Ron mumbled.  
"S'all right. What's wrong with you?" Lee asked, seeing his worried face.  
"What isn't?" Ron replied, yawning.  
"Yeah… My life's kinda like that at the moment too…" Lee sighed, leaning against the wall.  
"Wanna swap stories?" Ron joked.  
Lee nodded and Ron beckoned for him to follow him he led him out onto the grounds into the sunshine. They sat down under a tree near the lake and looked at each other. Ron brushed his hair out of his eyes and coughed slightly.  
"So… what's up with you?" he asked.  
"Well… just friends not being friends and lovers not being lovers. Fred and George are… Never mind…"  
"No, tell me." Ron said, crossing his legs.  
"Well… can you keep a secret?" Lee said, taking a swifty look around and accepting Ron's nod, "It's really disturbing… and after the way you acted with Harry… I guess you don't like homosexuals, right?"  
"I have no problem with homosexuals! Is that what everyone thinks?" Ron cried, feeling the heat rise in his face.  
"What? I didn't mean to offend you! I just thought… what…are you saying that you're…?"  
Lee said, looking at Ron with wide eyes.  
"Yes… I am…." He muttered, not looking at Lee.  
There was silence for a bit, then Lee continued, "Maybe this won't be as weird to you then… Fred, George and I are… were… going out…. But now, they've found someone else to go out with and I'm on my own again. Its just a big mess…"  
"What, so they cheated on you?" Ron asked, rubbing his eyes.  
"Well, I have no proof… but I think they were. They as good as told me… Said they had someone else to see and they were much more satisfactory than I was… I've got a pretty good idea of who with, too… you're not going to like it, though." Lee said, staring at the ground.  
"Go on, It can't hurt me anymore than I already am…" Ron said…  
"Well… I think it was…. This is really going to come as a surprise and it's going to hurt… but I think they were going with… Harry."  
Ron's mouth fell open in shock. How could he have done this to him? It was too much to bear, but he couldn't just cry in front of Lee.. He was going to kill Fred and George when he next ran into them.. they were pretending to be his friend all this time. Swallowing the large lump that had arisen in his throat, he looked back up at Lee and tried to smile. He couldn't, and found himself breathing harshly and fighting back the tears.  
"Hey –come on, we can get through this." Lee said, gripping his shoulder tightly.  
Ron buried his anger and said, "Yeah, I guess. Well, I suppose its my turn now. I am gay, as I told you. But I'm meant to be in love with Harry…and I'm finding that I'm not… It's somebody else…."Lee looked imploringly at him, and he continued," Draco Malfoy."  
Lee's mouth fell open, but he didn't look truly bothered. He just shrugged and looked out over the lake. None of what Ron had just told him had mattered at all, it made no difference to him whatsoever. He had his own tangled love life to take care of first. Sighing, he gripped Ron's shoulder tightly again and got up and left.  
"Don't tell anyone!" Ron roared after him.  
There was no sound made by Lee, but Ron knew that his secret was safe. Sighing, he flopped back on the glass and stared at the blue sky above. His life was such a mess, and it was all his fault. He couldn't go to his mother, she'd flip at him. Charlie would be alright, but he was in Romania and not really any help to Ron. Bill, maybe? At least he was in the country… He had been transferred the previous year, and was now working in London at Gringotts. Would he come if asked? Where would Ron meet him? The village pub? There was a Hogsmeade weekend next week… maybe it would be possible. Getting up, he wandered back up to the castle. If he went to see Harry now, would Hermione be there? There was only one way to find out. He walked back up the corridor and up a few flights of stairs, and then found himself outside the hospital wing. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, and went in.  
  
Nobody was there, except Harry. He was lying in the bed nearest the window, gazing out of it with a longing in his eyes. He only noticed that Ron was there when he shut the door.  
  
"What do you want?" He asked miserably, turning away from him.  
"To talk." Was Ron's only reply, and he walked to the bed and sat down on it.  
Harry's green eyes met with his blue ones and saw that he was upset. Ron swallowed the lump that was in his throat and said, "I've wanted to come and see you earlier but Hermione wouldn't let me in. She blames me for this… I don't disagree with her. This is my fault. You shouldn't be here like this."  
"Shut up." Harry said quietly, glaring at him.  
How dare he just assume that Harry had done this because of him? He knew he had, but that wasn't the point. He had and anger inside of him that made him want to hit Ron like he had hit him; right across the face. Ron noticed his fists clenching into tight balls, but didn't move away, feeling he deserved everything he got. But as he sat there, looking hopelessly at Harry, he felt his anger ebb away in spite of himself. That gorgeous face that had haunted his days of darkness; been the cause of that darkness, was sitting in front of him, willing to talk about their problems. Harry longed to know how he felt, and if he felt anything for him at all. Ron kept making funny sounds that made Harry think that he was going to cry, but he contained himself.  
"What did you want to talk about?" Harry said, trying to sound upbeat and cheerful and failing.  
"Us."  
"There was never an 'us', Ron. You made sure of that." Harry said coldly.  
"I can't do this if you're going to be like that." Ron said, getting up.  
Harry just stared and said nothing. Ron sat back down and looked at him.  
"I'm hurting as much as you are, Harry. I know you don't believe that, but you have no idea what these past weeks have been like for me… Then you were found in the lake and I just collapsed, metaphorically speaking. My life wasn't worth living either. Tell me, why did you really do it?"  
"Because you rejected me!" Harry cried, throwing back his blankets.  
"I didn't mean to! I didn't know my own true feelings then! I wish I had never slapped you and I wish I had never run off!" Ron said, raising his voice.  
Harry fell silent. Did Ron mean what he thought he meant? Could he feel for him in the way that Harry wanted him to so very, very badly? Could Harry forgive him for what he'd done? But, Ron hadn't really done anything wrong, just insensitive… finally, he said, "What do you mean by that?"  
"You know full well what I mean, Harry, don't act thick. You know me well enough by now to know that I'm not confident and when I get scared I run. No matter who or what it's from." Ron hissed, his face reddening.  
"Well maybe you should sort yourself out before you hurt someone else!" Harry shouted at him, jumping out of bed.  
Ron closed his eyes.  
"Maybe you should stop being such a stubborn, righteous little bastard and be a bit nicer."  
Harry yelled again, not being able to control his anger any more.  
He had had it with the niceties, and was just going to lay into Ron with all he had inside of him. Maybe yelling a bit would help him vent his anger…  
  
Ron still hadn't said anything, he just sat on the bed and shook. He knew that he deserved this, but it didn't stop the pain from coursing through his veins like a slow-acting venom; hurting that little bit more every time he thought about it.  
  
"I don't even know why you came. Was it to upset me even more? Was it to make you feel better knowing that you'd at least 'tried' to be friends again? You are such an idiot, it's unbelievable. I've never known such an evil person who was so intent on making me unhappy as you. And don't you dare mention Voldemort now, because he doesn't matter to me. I could have got through all the crap with him with you by my side. But now he haunts me in my drams just like you. You're such a… such a… such a little homophobe its unbelievable. I hate you!" Harry shouted, his voice echoing of the walls of the hospital ward.  
  
He breathed harshly as he stood before Ron, his shoulders heaving with emotion.   
Everything was fuzzy, he didn't know whether this was anger or the tears rising in his eyes. All he knew was that he didn't want to cry in front of Ron. Moving closer, he saw Ron back away, so he reached froward and grabbed him by the collar of his battered school robes.  
He raised his fist. Could he do this? Yes, this was payback… For all the heartache and pain Ron had caused him. He knew that violence never solved anything, but at this moment, he just wanted to punch Ron for all he was worth.  
  
And he did. Right across his nose, which instantly started to bleed. The moment he released Ron he was sorrier than he'd ever been in his life, but would have died before showing it. Ron gasped and trembled on the bed as Madam Pomfrey came rushing in, annoyed about all the noise. When she saw Ron, she looked at Harry and demanded an explanation.  
"I'm…. oh God… I'm so…" he stammered, but couldn't get the words out.  
"I'll sort you out later, young man." She said angrily, and with that turned to Ron to sort out his broken nose.  
  
Ron wandered along the corridor that afternoon in a state of despair. Harry had punched him –surely this meant that he didn't love him any more. But the trouble was, Ron was even more in love with Harry now. Draco didn't matter to him any more, it was all Harry. He loved his messy black hair, his green eyes, his skinny form and everything that came with him. It was just so right that they should end up together, but then again so wrong. Ron sighed. He needed to see Harry again, when they could be alone. Maybe he'd send pig with a letter to ask if he could go and visit him , or if Harry could sneak out of the hospital wing for ten minutes. Deciding he'd do this, he walked up towards the owlery. Pulling a piece of parchment and a discarded quill and ink bottle, he wrote:  
  
'Dear Harry,  
I know this is a cowardly way to tell you how I feel, but I can't risk doing it to your face. I love you more than anything in the world, and I always have done. I don't know why I couldn't just tell you that earlier…. Oh well. Listen, can you sneak out of the hospital wing at midnight and meet me in the disused transfiguration classroom where the mirror of Erised was? Send an answer back with Pig. I hope you'll just come and listen because I have a lot to say and the bloody ink is running out. PLEASE COME,  
  
All my love, Ron XXX'  
  
He threw pig out of the window and watched him soar off towards that hospital wing. Would he come? Please let him come… thought Ron desperately. Sighing, he turned and proceeded to walk to the common room. 


End file.
